Thursday, March 28, 2024

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George R.R. Martin Sues OpenAI For Copyright Infringement After Chatbot Mentions Incest

NEW YORK—Alleging “massive systemic theft” of his original work, bestselling fantasy author George R.R. Martin filed a federal lawsuit against OpenAI this week after...

Pros And Cons Of Abolishing The Senate

Established by Article 1 of the U.S. Constitution and first convened in 1789, the Senate has served as the upper chamber of Congress, but...

HOUSE DESIGN

Tech and Gadgets

Dad Snacking On Bowl Of Ground Beef

CHICAGO—Mindlessly shoveling the dry meat into his mouth while staring at the television, local dad Ron Guadiano was reportedly snacking on a bowl of...
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Oscar Attendees Flee As Actors Featured During In Memoriam Segment Crawl Out Of Screen, Devour Gary Oldman

LOS ANGELES—Screaming in terror at the approaching hordes of hissing, red-eyed former celebrities, attendees at the 93rd Academy Awards fled Sunday as the actors...

Performance Training

Nerd Who Spent Summer Getting Into Shape Quickly Discovers Bully Worked Out Twice As Hard

BELLINGHAM, WA—Admitting that his physical transformation didn’t even come close to cutting it, local nerd Hayden Gardner told reporters Monday he had spent all...

Epidemiologist Blows Conch Horn After Spotting New Covid Variant Cresting Over Horizon

GENEVA—Taking a deep breath and sounding the alarm for all in the land to hear, epidemiologist Hans Zehnder reportedly blew a conch horn Friday...

Biden Signs Inflation Reduction Act Into Law

President Biden has signed into law the Inflation Reduction Act, a sweeping $750 billion health care, tax, and climate bill, that is seen as...

Scientists Discover New Core At Center Of Earth

Researchers have confirmed the existence of a distinct structure inside our planet’s inner core, saying the newly discovered “innermost inner core” is a solid...

Nation Doesn’t Understand How Someone As Cool As Kyrsten Sinema Could Fight For Corporate Interests

TUCSON, AZ—Stating it “just didn’t add up,” the U.S. populace told reporters Wednesday that they didn’t understand how someone as cool as Kyrsten Sinema...
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Holiday Recipes

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—Updating the company’s terms of service, live-entertainment giant Ticketmaster announced Wednesday that it would soon be requiring customers to purchase round-trip tickets...
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